Self vs Self-Esteem

Shweta Nagpurkar
 Saxena,Clinical
Psychologist/
Australian Accredited
Trainer/ Writer

Humans are the creator of their own life. We and only we can make or break our self-esteem. Many Psychological researches/ surveys have shown that people tend to impede their own self-esteem and continue to live with this mental conditioning.

Needless to say, world will treat you as you treat yourself. Thus, it becomes very crucial that you build-up a strong and positive self-esteem. Also, need to respect your efforts poured in mushrooming it.

Here is a questionnaire to help you introspect and understand the way you treat your self-esteem:

1. Are you able to take the praises gracefully?
2. Are you into constant habit of ‘self-pity’ or being in the question zone of ‘why me’?
3. When in a group, do you deliberately criticize yourself and feel upset when others nod in agreement?
4. Do you socially make fun of your own habits/ personality traits, life or behavior?
5. Do you emotionally feel secure on receiving unessential sympathy from others?
6. Does your self-worth vary or depend on how people rate you?
7. Do you feel over-shyness when treated special for the deserving reasons?
8. Do you treat yourself as either judge or victim in almost every situation of life?
9. Do you knowingly allow yourself to be vulnerable because you presume that is the best way to remain socially acceptable?
10. Do you find yourself over-compromising on your values irrespective of whether the same is demanded or not from you?

If you answer is ‘yes’ to the 5 or more questions, you have a lot of work to do on your self-esteem.

Self-esteem is what you create and maintain in order to develop and succeed in life. It is your self-image and self-worth. Parenting and childhood conditioning has a major role to play in it. One’s values, norms, religious teachings and learning also contributes to a great extent. And thereby, the result of this self-esteem in seen in one’s attitude, behavior, thinking, personality, emotional balancing and perception towards self and others.

Here are few vital tips to enhance your self-esteem:

1. Make sure that your ‘self-talk’ is consistently positive.
2. Become a self- motivator and not destructor.
3. Enjoy feeling proud about your achievements and strengths.
4. Empower yourself in the known weak areas.
5. Develop the habit of cross-checking the criticism you get with the people closely connected to you.
6. Refrain from encouraging self-pity any further. The fact that you have reached at this stage of life, auto-proves that you are capable of:

                                 i.            Strongly handle yourself.

                               ii.            Accept challenges and overcome.

                              iii.            Move on if and when needed.

7. Every Sunday night, grab 15 minutes for self-analysis and go through this checklist every time.
8. Keep a constant check on your thoughts, self-perception, behavior and self-attitude. Pledge, none of these should be allowed to harm you any further.

Magic happens in over-night only in fantasies. However, to make them happen in reality, consistent efforts and faith in self is required.

So, Readers, celebrate the birth of a new self-esteem!