Making Before Breaking

Shweta Nagpurkar
 Saxena,Clinical
Psychologist/
Australian Accredited
Trainer/ Writer

 

StarBuzz Weekly, Toronto-Things no longer remain easy when everything around looks dark, dreams seem to be shattered, hands holding yours are no longer there, comfort bubble named as love is no more keeping you secured and the one who is left behind alone is ‘you’ along with your loneliness, guilt, grumbles and depression.

Yes, as you have rightly guessed, I am talking about the love break-ups and the immense pain that follows.  You surely and maturely can save yourself and your partner from this, provided you know the right track to choose.

Here are 5 tips to help you gain a better insight on how can you make-up before a break-up:

1. Did a ‘Real Make’ exist at all? : It is extremely important to understand and cross-check with your partner that the feelings are identical at both the ends. In anxiety or in an urge to gain an emotional/ social security, people may hasten in coming to a conclusion and giving a name to their relationship. Hurry usually leads to worry. So, make sure either you or your partner is not doing so. As such relationships are seen to end-up in the hasty break-ups too.  Also, it is important to ensure that your partner feels the same for you. May be, for him/ her there isn’t any romantic relationship existing between you both at all. Thus, in that case, there is no question of break-up.
2. Correlate your tick-marks: Every relationship has some common tick-marks. Tick-marks are the habits/ acts/ behavior mutually accepted and agreed to have given pleasure/ benefits to both. What may be a tick-mark for you may not be for your partner. Forcing on another too isn’t a working idea. Thus, have a positive communication and find out correlating tick-marks. They surely help in saving relations.
3. Monitor your cross-outs: Just like the tick-marks, every relation also has its own cross-outs. They are again the habits/ acts/ factors that are mutually agreed to be unacceptable and needs a positive do-do. One should take an initiative and openly discuss the discomforts between both and try no repetitions of the same. Such a conscious effort from both the partners gives the confidence of the continuation of love journey.
4. Express to impress: Needless to say, like in any other area of life, love-life too needs your self-marketing. This might be perceived as an extra-effort but a vital one. Mushrooming a relationship is an art. And one needs to master it. Thus, make sure you express right things in the right way at the right time to your partner. When I say right, it means mutually accepted right ways. One should consistently impress another through various romantic expressions. Such expressions provide oxygen to one’s relation and keep it alive. Remember, the more you keep your partner impressed, the more you can keep your love-life intact.
5. Seed of need: When a relationship starts, a seed of need is sowed in both partners’ minds. However, after some duration, we mistakenly presume that the love-plant is growing in just my mind whereas has been cut-off in his/ her mind. That may not be the case. May be your partner too is unhappily presuming the same. Hence, it is always good and advised to talk-out the fears and insecurities. Once cleared you can have a sigh of relief and let not the scary phase of break-up ever touch your love-life.

Making before breaking surely has a ray of hope, but making after breaking may or may not give you the desired results!

Thank You!

Shweta Nagpurkar Saxena. - www.mindmirrorindia.com